i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
