people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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