Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
