She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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