Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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