i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
cat food counts as protein by the way
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Randomize
