From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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