You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
