My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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