I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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