I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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