During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
