just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
