remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
