when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
