I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
