no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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