Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
