Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
