He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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