Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
My pussy is not your playground.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
