Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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