she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize