how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
