Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
