yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
