also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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