All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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