Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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