We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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