Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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