i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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