after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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