Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
COCAINE IS GR8
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize