He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Randomize
