You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
is that a dick in a sweater?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
