i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
