whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
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