I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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