We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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