I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
