You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
