Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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