Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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