Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
