There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
