Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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