i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
