Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
