I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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