I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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