he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
