i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
