I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
