so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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