Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
