I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
