My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
