I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
