is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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