Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
