Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
