i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
accomplished twins. life is a go
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
