Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
